Jackson

My bff is out of town right now and usually I vent and talk things through with her but since she's on a much needed vacay I'm gonna do it here.

Jackson came to me during Christmas break and asked me to homeschool him again. He said that he's being teased, he's not happy with school and would really like to come back home. I told him to try to work things out and see what happens when he goes back to school. Last night, he came to me right before bed with tears and said that he would really like to be homeschooled again. Guys, I don't know what to do.

LM and I, had a nice long discussion about it last night and I still feel mixed. Do I bring him home and have him miss some of the stuff he gets from being at school or do I leave him there and teach him to stick with it. I know for some this would be an easy answer but I don't think it is. I had to ask myself this question. Would I, as an adult, keep going to a place that made me feel bad about myself daily? Is it better to allow his self esteem to be tested to make him "stronger"? The fact is, he will never be like everybody else and honestly, I'm glad he's not. He has Aspergers, and though he can learn a lot of behaviors and he's really good at mimicking, he's still different. When I pick him up from school, I see him walking by himself, talking to himself. I see the way that kids look at him. Most of the time he's oblivious but sometimes they make sure that he's aware of how different he is. I also understand why some kids would be annoyed by him because he is bossy, doesn't understand personal space, he's not aware of how the things he says and does effects other people, and he takes a long time to verbally get his ideas out. He also goes to school without complaining because those are the rules and he's a rule abider and that's what he's suppose to do, so for him to be upset enough to remember to tell me that he's not happy is a big deal.

If I did bring him home, he still would go to the school for speech therapy and his skills class so he would still get that support. But would it be better to keep his self esteem beefed up by us and keep him in school?

He's my baby and I wish that I could make all the right decisions with him so that he grows up happy and healthy, so if anyone has a child manual that I could borrow I would super duper appreciate it.

UGH

I guess I'm not really looking for answers from you guys I just need a sounding board....sigh....I miss Carrie. (but don't feel bad Carrie if you read this, I'm super duper glad your getting a well deserved break!!! Don't call me! Seriously!)

What I did on my computer free vacation

aka what I did so my friends and family wouldn't put me on ignore. Besides getting a finger cramp from only using my iphone to type, pondering the meaning of life and what the heck a vidoe card is and if it's really THAT important and debating about which is more important: food or video card....duh...video card. Eating is so over rated plus we have enough to keep up with my diet pepsi habit so we're good....no worries.

I cleaned my closets people...all of them. ooooh yeah, they are gleaming, so gleaming that I can't take a picture of them because they are so sparkling clean and organized that it'll break my camera. Plus, I wouldn't want you to get all depressed and feel bad or guilty that yours don't look as great as mine.

From all my closet cleaning and drawer cleaning, I had 6 bags of clothes for good will, plus another bag of toys. Hallelujah! Can I get an amen?

I removed all evidence of children from our bedroom. It is now so bare and spacious .... and....and...AWESOME(said all singsongy)

I rearranged furniture in the kids rooms and made a nice safe place for Rhino and hope to make it less likely for him to escape...again.

I cleaned my heart out then dreamed what it would be like to have a clean house longer than it takes Hyrum to take a short nap. Someday people...someday I will have a clean home for a full day....someday....

I read and read and sadly didn't get through a single book besides The Potato book again. It's ruined me, I have 4 books that I'm part way through but it's so hard to finish when I can't connect to it like Potato Book. I'm putting all my hopes and dreams into the next book club book, that I'll once again find love in the pages of a book. (p.s. I'm taking opinions and idea of other books if you'd like to leave a few titles in my comments section...no pressure.)

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, I've been working on this baby. It's about freaking time I know. Still not done, but I think I'll just take my time since I've got the important part done.

Squirrels are so cute

When they are dead, hanging on by their teeth on a power line right in front of our house.
If you enlarge the picture you can see it smoking.


Here's it's burned off tail.

I think I'm officially a hick because I find this humorous.

So does some of our volunteer fire department. When LM asked if they needed anything, they said "Only a knife and a fork."... I think I love this town.

flipping the bird

I realized lately that I've been posting alot of the negative stuff that is happening and I may seem a little bitter, angry, frustrated, annoyed, and self pitying. I just want you to know that my bad attitude isn't the only "tude" I've had lately.

I'm finding every day that something has broken or needs replacing or blah blah blah. So everyday I say the same thing to myself. For example, when my video card died:

F*** You universe.
::stomps away from computer::
::says other colorful things::
::sits down, takes a deep breath and realizes: this is just stuff::
::calms down and gets on with my day::

I mean, I have to admit it is nuts how much stuff is breaking around here and not just little things, I mean B I G ticket items, and it's happening at a time when we have negative money, which normally sends me into a spiral of depression. It's not pretty. BUT, lately, after I have my tantrum, I get a weird sense of peace. I can't even explain it but it just feels like everything that his happening is going to get me to a place I need to be physically, mentally and spiritually. Crazy right?!?! But whatever is going on, it's working. I'm finally seeing things for what they are. As much as I love my puter, and having a nice tv, they are both distractions from what I really want to accomplish right now. I've gained a new appreciation for my family, my home, my friends, my body, my health. I am truly truly grateful and not in a cheesy way but in a deep down to the bone sort of way.

So, if you see me post negative stuff just realize that once I'm done flipping off the universe, I'll be settling back to feeling peace.

hey, hows it goin and stuff?

I didn't realize how long it's been since I've updated...oopsy. So here's my update.
short version:

everything is hunky dory. the end. your welcome.

Super long version:

We had a great Christmas, in fact I think this one was my favorite. I had a blast spending the month of December in the bonus room freezing to death while sewing my little heart out. So worth it. And for those of you who didn't see on my Facebook page, here's some pictures.
Emily's Princess cape and crown.

Bub's reversible batman/superman cape.
I made a bazillion bed organizers.
Here's the back so you can see that I sewed grippy stuff on the back so it stays in place better.


Here's Sara's in action.

I also made some skirts for the girls, headbands and sewed little bags for magnets that we made their teachers.

The magnets are super duper cute but sadly my picture taking skills suck so you'll have to deal with blurry pictures.
using the small round magnets, glass beads, glue used for glass, scrapbook paper (eeeek) or you could use pictures, and a 3/4" circle paper cutter thingy. All of this can be bought at Michaels (eeeek).

We have 2 new additions to our family.

This is Rhino, Sara's hamster.

And that...waaaay over there is Lilly.
(this is as close as I like to get)

Larry's pet rat. I just call it "The Rat" and run away screaming every time she's out of her cage. She poops a lot and it pretty much grosses me out along with her freaky long tail. ewwwww ::full body shiver::

He had to swear on all his miniatures
and his life that I would never have to touch her, feed, her or clean up after her. I'm still not sure that was enough.

We have also said goodbye to 2 of my favorite babysitters, the week of Christmas.

They passed within days from each other along with there dvd players.

Luckily, we still have this baby to get us by.
I cried. Probably because it was the end of a long chain of things dying in this house not including some disgusting mice. Our heat pump started acting funny on the coldest week of the year, we couldn't keep our house above 65 which means that I practically died of cold. Then our vent above the stove decided to catch on fire.


Luckily it just did a little scorching and our kitchen was saved....or maybe that was unluckily. I mean I'd love to have a new kitchen but just not THAT way. A water pump that goes to our ice maker broke, caused mold so I had to tear away part of the wall behind the fridge and now I don't have a working ice maker. I cried. And as of yesterday my vacuum won't start...I mean, I wouldn't either if I had to vacuum my carpet but still...it stinks. I was very close to just walking out of this house and never coming back...still debating whether to do that...it's very close. But even though this was all upsetting and made be go back and forth between being pissed and crying my eyes out, I truly am grateful for my life.

I have a loving husband that will abandon this house with me any time I say, I have 4 kids that love me and still kiss me in front of their friends and pretty much keep me entertained most of my day. I have a sweet dog that is always ready to give me love. I have a home that has kept us safe and warm (most of the time), I have great friends, a van that I can escape in, a working computer so I can keep in touch, a stack of books to read and good health. I'm truly grateful.


Happy New Year.

P.S. I'd like to ask some prayers for LM's sister Donna. She recently found out that she has breast cancer and just this week found out it's stage IV. She's starting chemo next week and I'd like to send as many prayers up and positive thoughts her way. We love you Donna!

LOL cats

This makes me laugh LOL Twilight

This makes me laugh just as hard LOL New Moon ....even though I don't like cats.

Totally fakin' it!

The Christmas Tree, that is...what did you think?

While decorating this year we decided to give one of those fake trees a try...I'm not sure how I feel about it yet. I'm already missing the smell of a real tree, especially vacuuming up the needles...mmmm...I like that smell. I just hope the locals don't find out about our fake tree...we may get kicked out of Small Town Oregon for this...I mean this is the land of Christmas tree farms. So shhhhhh this is just between us right?

Can you believe it's Christmas time??? Me either...but I'm lovin it!

I love giant stalkings that our friend Beth made for each of us.

I love decorations.
I love decorating the tree...even if it is fake....see....I don't think I'll be ever to get past the "fakeness" of our tree. I'm trying though...I really am.

I love these hoodlums. (notice how Kita is on the couch and the kids are on the floor...that's how we roll around here)
Boy oh boy do I love these gize!

I love going to a fancy dinner at Sharis with my kids

and LM