Friday, February 29, 2008


*I do apologize for the length of this entry, you are more than welcome to skip it, it wouldn't really hurt my feelings.

So while I was pondering what fabulous thing I could do for my blog, I thought that maybe I’ll start sharing some of my journal entries, because I have nothing better to do then to humiliate myself. But I'll be doing it from my 33 year old self point of view because it’s is actually funny (too me) about what I wrote and how I wrote. I was sooo serious, I don’t remember ever being that serious though I know I was. I think it has been years of finding ways to hide my pain that I became so sarcastic and found ways to laugh at everything because I do laugh at everything especially if I’m trying not to laugh at everything.

Anyway….I’ve been spending WAAAAY to much time entertaining myself with my journals. Seriously, it’s kind of weird! So, I came upon an entry about my 2nd boyfriend after he wasn’t my boyfriend. Sadly I hadn’t written in my journal during the time that we were “going out”(chuckle) but reading about after we broke up reminded me of the time during, which brought up all these memories including my first kiss that I try not to consider a kiss and after the story you can tell me if it’s ok for me to deny it being my first kiss. And “YES” you are correct, I did not kiss my first boyfriend which should tell you that I was young and immature and completely na├»ve…we did hold hands though. So, though this wasn’t from my journal, I’ll share it anyway, it’s funny in a pathetic, teenage angst sort of way.

My first boyfriend was Jeremy, oh Jeremy, he was tall good looking, uber smart and athletic…so like EVERYTHING and I was shy, average in EVERY way except in sports then I was waaaay below average. I don’t know what he saw in me and it doesn’t matter because we broke up after a very long month. Haha

Marc was my 2nd boyfriend, for me, it was unbelievable that anyone would like me. He liked me for a while before I even realized that he liked me, it was his sister that broke the news to me and asked me what I thought of him. “Thought??? Ummm I don’t know” was my brilliant reply. In fact I hadn’t ever really noticed him but after she informed me that he liked me I decided to take a closer look. Marc was cute, blonde, on the short side which was a-ok for me because I was short and he was taller than me, and that’s all I cared about. He was very spazzy in a cute funny way and didn’t seem shy which was ALWAYS attractive to me. Now the time between me being informed and us becoming a “couple” is kind of foggy, I don’t know why I would block that out except for maybe it just wasn’t interesting enough to keep my attention.

We became a “couple” during the summer of '88, actually right before school started. He lived in a different town then me but came to Panaca everyday because of football practice. I can still picture him walking to my house from the football field wearing an old INXS t-shirt, shorts and carrying his ghetto blaster. (chuckle) Every time I listen to my INXS Kick cd, it reminds me of him and always makes me laugh. He would come over and we would slow dance to “our song” which for the life of me I can not remember. He was very sweet, he even spray painted Grover (which is what he called himself) + CC surrounded by a heart underneath a bridge in Caliente. Can you saw awwww??? So sweet! Haha

We were a couple for a few weeks when his sister came up to me and asked me why I hadn’t kissed him yet. “um, I don’t know” again was my brilliant reply. From that moment on I knew it was coming. I was so nervous and excited all at the same time. I wanted to kiss him but was so nervous and afraid that I wouldn’t really know what to do that I was too afraid to kiss him.

Months before while visiting Tavia, we had gone to her friends house and I grilled her friend about HOW you French kiss. Do you start with mouths closed then open? Do you move your tongue around? It seems so technical and I was so afraid of doing it wrong.

So, the time had come, he had asked me to go to the movies. I wasn’t 16 yet so not at the “legal” age to date so it technically couldn’t be called a date but just a bunch of friends going to see a movie but it really wasn’t my friends. It was me, him, his sister and her friends that all went to the movie. I don’t know what we saw, all I could think about is that tonight was going to be the night. I had worn a cute white skirt that had two ruffles and I think I might have actually worn the matching jacket. I wore it because the week before he had mentioned that he would like to see me in a skirt.

So after the movie, we pulled up to my house. It was dark outside and the front porch light wast on. I was so nervous, I was almost shaking, I had been waiting a looong time for my first kiss or at least it felt that way. I was hoping for something a little more romantic then standing in front of his sister and her friends but I would take it. He walked me half way up the side walk towards the house when he turned to me, he moved his head so quickly, I wasn’t quite prepared for what happened next. In my mind I had always pictured a sweet closed mouth kiss that would change into a French kiss but my hyperactive boyfriend had other thoughts. As he came toward me with swiftness I had kept my mouth closed while he had opened his and he planted a big wet tongue on my closed mouth. The embarrassment was so great, that he didn’t say anything but ran to the car, jumped in and drove away. I stood there for a few awkward seconds trying to comprehend what had just happened. When I realized that he had run off, I ran into the house and tried not to think about how he was now telling his sister and her friends what had happened. I was beyond embarrassed thinking “It must be me, I must have done something wrong. Why didn’t anyone tell me that you just open your mouth first??? That’s not how it happened on Days Of Our Lives. Stupid soap opera!”

The fall out of that first kiss wasn’t so bad, we didn’t try kissing again and actually broke up soon after. Though, it wasn’t because of the “kissing incident” I’m sure it didn’t help.

Sigh…So, if you made it this far Congratulations!!!! And thank you for reading my sad pathetic story. Would you agree with me, that it’s ok to deny this being my first kiss? lol

Now, if you guys aren't completely bored, I may start sharing more embarrassing stories but really it's up to you. Please let me know if your up for more Cristin humiliation or if I should be keeping this stuff locked in my diary FOREVER. lol


abutler said...

Can I just tell you how much I loved Panaca. I still remember the horrible crush I developed for some much older guy, friend of Cathe's. I remeber crying the whole way home to Bakersfield because I wanted to stay longer. How lame is that? I still have this fantasy of how cool it would be to live there. If I remember right you guys hated it there, right?

abutler said...

Oh ya, that was a cute story too. Thanks for sharing. I'm afraid that will have to count as your first kiss.

Emily said...

That was GREAT!! I vote for more Cristin stories-embarrasing or not!
I too loved Panaca and was always jealous that we couldn't live there. Thanks for sharing!!

Sephalo said...

Good Story, Good Story! lol I LOVED it, I want more!

sarastrasser said...

Very Babysitters Club (which is a VERY GOOD thing). I enjoyed it and it definitely left me wanting more embarrassing stories. I would count that as your first kiss. I also think he should be the one embarrassed, not you. EVERYONE knows you start out with the mouth closed and then open up!

ajesplin said...

How in the world did I miss this post? I loved it! I must read more awkward love stories. They make me cringe--in a good way. That was not a kiss. He just licked you, is all.

Amy Thurston said...

This was my favorite EVER post of yours! I need to hear more!
You kissed, but he licked, so it really could go either way. It just depends if you are needing higher or lower numbers in that department.

Vegas Family said...

Don't know how I missed this. Cathe called me and brought this post to my attention and I am glad she did. This was wonderful. I love the akward teen years. You did a great job telling your story. I want to hear more please. That was fun to read.