Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Do you think...

it's possible to die from impatience??? Cause I think I might. I'm so stupid I decided to go on to Stephanies website, you know my friend Stephanie Meyer, well BIG mistake...it's making it worse cause I started reading these. Like I said, I'm stupid. Luckily this week seems to be going by fast.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Smart Remarks and my not so smart remarks

Soooo, I guess I'm one of the few who actually read The Blue Castle by LM Montgomery, the very woman who wrote the Anne of Green Gable books...yeah...she's awesome, and out of the few who read, I actually enjoyed it. For some reason me likeing it when someone I know didn't care for it, makes all my old insecurities come out like the time when I permed my hair when everyone else was straigtening theirs or the time I straightened right after everyone permed, or the time when I finally got stirup pants but nobody else was wearing them...umm where was I? O the book yeah yeah

Ok so I did like it but I'm gonna start out with the things I didn't like, kind of like how the book is.
First, Who the heck are those people on the cover???? especially the guy??? what's up with that? Did they think a super skinny, unshaven, scrub wearing guy wasn't good enough for the cover?...whatever

Second, LM Montgomery IS Anne of Green Gables. Her writing is very flowery and sometimes feels a little tidious but that's just me. I like words, just when she describes plants this haze comes over my eyes until my eyes reach a new paragraph without flowers or plants.

Third, I don't like the name Barney...too purplish. I couldn't help but picture Barney the dinosaur.

Fourth, I don't like how they keep making a point to tell her that she's not pretty. I think she got it, who seriously needs to be told over and over that their not pretty? I would have caught on the first time someone said it to me.

What I liked about it, is that I saw myself in her. What's not to like??

Like Valancy I spent a lot of time in my head, talking to myself and in my imagination. In fact I still do spend a lot of time in my head, dreaming of my Blue Castle, especially on days when I reach my limit with the kids and want to disappear for a little while.

Through the book, while she's becoming more herself, her family thinks she's changed but what it really is, is her becoming herself. I personally don't share different aspects of myself with everyone, I think most people just see a side or two and I wonder if they saw the other sides if they would have the same reaction. Which makes me think of a recent incident. Every summer our community serves breakfast and lunch for all kids ages 1-18 for free at the school (it's what happens when you live in a very poor community) anyway, the same mothers with the same children come every year and it's like a big mom fest while the kids eat. Well this year, a mom who in the past had seemed very average, came in the lunch room the first day with her hair dyed, a ring in her nose a dog collar around her neck, black clothes with big black boots. The first thing I thought was "Is this her blue Castle?" is this who she really is but because of life, she wasn't able to be this person? The the second thought was " close your mouth stupid, she's looking at you".

I like the quietness and the sweetness of their life, though it is pretty leisure, I couldn't help but wonder what it would REALLY be like if he worked and she had kids....not so sweet and leisurely but this is a book so I try to enjoy it for what it is and not what's going to happen when they have kids. haha

I like the language, it's funny to read it while inserting today's meaning into the words...hahahahahaha You don't know what I mean go here, she has a couple of samplings.

I love happy endings...I have my moments where I don't mind a tragic end but I was glad to have a happy ending. It's an easy read, unless you don't like the character, I don't like naming names but JENNY didn't like her. pfft

That's all I got folks! All my deep thoughts in one blog post.

I know you guys don't know this but I'm REALLY excited about next months book club book even though it hasn't technically been decided on but I for once am going to put my foot down and say that it's this or...or...or ...well it has to be this!

Thursday, July 24, 2008

My to do list:

1. Wash dishes maybe later
2. vacuum living room maybe tomorrow
3. get Cathe addicted to the twilight series check
4. pay bills sigh check
5. feed Boozer check
6. play World of Warcraft for waaay to long check
7. return movies check

1. End world hunger

So, speaking of the Twilight series, Cathe has called me every morning (early) to discuss what she's read so far and to thank me for getting her hooked (like that's hard). BUT we are both now wondering if there are other books out there to fill the void. You know the "I've got to read something exciting, passionate, with interesting story, passionate, characters you can love, and passionate". Anyone know of any???? I'm sure after I read Breaking Dawn for the billionth time I'll be needing something else to read, well besides the book club book, but you know what I mean. I can't read just 1 book a month...that's crazy! Help me people, have you read anything that gives you the same wonderful feelings that the Twilight series does?

Monday, July 21, 2008

kids and school

So like, at the end of the school year I felt really impressed that it was time to put Jackson back into school for next year. He hasn't been to school, well he has, but not full time since the end of Kindergarten. We've homeschooled him for 5 years but he's received services from the school like speech therapy 3-4 times a week and 4-8 hours a week with a special ed teacher for 1-5th grade.

At the end of Kindergarten, LM and I had a big pow wow with his teacher, the principal, the special ed teacher, and his speech therapist about what we would like to happen for the following year. ALL of them wanted him to go onto 1st grade and LM and I felt like it was a bad idea but they did not listen to us and planned for him to move on to 1st grade. He wasn't ready and I think they knew he wasn't ready but because of "political" crap he was being moved on.

ANYWAY, during that summer all I could think about was how much I knew that he shouldn't be moving on but I felt completely powerless. I prayed but nothing, then finally 1 week before school was suppose to start 2 of my good friends (1 of them being a teacher and the other a teachers aid) told me that they both decided to pull there kids out of school and homeschool...all of a sudden this voice said "This is what you need to do!" and I said to my voice " YOU ARE CRAZY AND STOP TALKING!" then I had to explain to the voice that I was just a few short week away from delivering my 3rd child and that this is a crazy idea! I was like " I don't know how to teach!" " do you remember my grades?" " OH and I'm about to have a baby...remember?!?!" but the voice was persistent. Sooo, I prayed and then prayed again hoping for a different answer. I needed to homeschool. And now, I'm so glad I did. I learned so much about Jackson, things that I wouldn't have known without being his teacher. I taught him the alphabet and by mid year he was reading. It was beautiful and I'm so thankful that I could be a witness to it, especially since it seem like such an impossible goal considering where he started. We've had our ups and downs and I've had my burnout moments but it's been a positive experience.

Now here I am again with the same voice telling me to put him in school...but...of course there's a but...I'm conflicted. I know that this is what Heavenly Father wants but it's now no longer what I want. Yeah I want to have less crazy days, yeah, I want to have a cleaner house, yeah I want a less noisy house during the day, yeah I'd like time to work on my own schooling BUT... I'm scared. Crazy isn't it? He's not scared but I am. I remember middle school and even though he's not me I know that middle school issues are universal. Because of his learning disabilities, he's below grade level, he'll be spending time in special ed so I'm scared that he'll get teased, made fun of or just treated bad. We've already seen it this summer. A neighbor kid that he has been friends with no longer wants to be his friend, he's embarrassed to be with Jackson and makes him promise that he won't tell anyone that they played together. Jackson is clueless and is like "whatever" but I see it and it hurts my feelings. This punk kid is embarrassed to play with my son and it makes me sad.

How do I get past my own fears and trust that Heavenly Father knows what he's doing? this sucks! The closer September comes the more anxious I feel. Someone make me feel better.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Once again

My friend Jay in all his awesomeness told me about this little website with THE most horribly funny musical blog EVER. People...it's funny! I laughed, I cried I almost wet my pants but please don't tell people about that part. Kind of embarrassing...it's what happens when you give birth naturally 4 times...sorry I know it's TMI but there you are. Here it is I must warn you, there is singing and some naughtiness so if your ears are sensitive then don't watch, nothing visually naughty though. It's only available till late Sunday so if you missed it...well you snooze you lose.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

I'm a little obsessed

Can you believe we're so close to August and sooooooooooooo close to the release of BREAKING DAWN?!?!?! I'm kind of excited.

20 wishes

So a couple of weeks ago after finishing Smart Remarks bookclub choice I sat there thinking about how much I was in the mood to read another easy going book with a happy ending. An hour later Carrie came by, handed me a book and said "You have to read this!" "I've already started my 20 wishes list and I need the book by Monday." Well, now I know that wishes come true because I had just thought about how much I wished to have a book to read, you know besides the 30 books that are still waiting for me to read but of course those aren't the one's I'm in the mood for. Before I was done, I had about a dozen wishes that I wanted to put on my 20 wishes list. I'll share some but others are so waaaaaaaay out there that it would break the whole space time continium for them to happen...but I like them anyway and I'll leave them on my list, but I won't humiliate myself by listing those. Maybe someday but for now I'm keeping those to myself.

These are in no particular order.

1. A have a cute little cottage with a flower garden in front and a nice vegetable garden in the back. Comfortable furniture that is surrounded by books. A nice patio that's welcoming to friends and family. For some reason I picture myself in my late forties earlier fifties in this wish so I have plenty of time to get this one.

2. A big beautiful deck in the back where family and friends can hang out, bbq and where I can read in the privacy of my backyard with the sound of the river, the birds singing and the sound of the squirrels playing in the trees.

3. Be under 135lbs. I won't tell you how far away from this I am but let me just say...it's FAAAAR!

4. Run a 5k. Anna you've inspired me!

5. Learn to play guitar.

6. Take a writing class.

7. Graduate from college with a BA in something that I love ( though I don't know what it is I love, it's quite the quandry.)

8. Learn to vegetable and flower garden.

9. Enjoy cooking, though I think this falls under the space time continium.

10. Be completely debt free

11. Know what I want to do with my life after kids

12. Have a clean house...hahahahaha I know that too would probably fall under space time coninium, at least while the kids still live here.

This is what I have so far minus the space time continium things. What are some of your wishes?

Tuesday, July 15, 2008


I don't know where the time has gone, it somehow magically disappeared and I have nothing to show for it.

Let me see what has been happening...hmmm...I'm sure there has been something....

Oh I've spent a good few weeks in an allergy medicine induced coma...or at least that's how I felt.

Mom and Dad made it safely home and have already had the girls over for a sleepover. Emily came home with the most beautifuly painted fingernails she's ever had and Sara came home with unpainted fingernails which goes to show how much she is my daughter. I don't know what I'm going to do with Emily...she's so...girly.

My cousin Renae recently got married and I was able to go to her open house in Washington with Mom and Dad. It's been years, like she was younger than a teenager the last time I saw her, in fact I don't think she remembered me. Anyway, she's soooo beautiful, she was a cute little girl but WOW is she a pretty woman. I was glad to see her and her cute hubby. They were both glowing...literally, you could practically see the happiness beams. It was the most beautiful thing I've seen in a long time and I'm so very happy for her. It was also nice to see my Aunt Sharon and Uncle Eldon and just seeing them reminded me how much I wanted to be there daughter, all for totally superficial reasons...well I loved them but my Uncle Eldon made his girls these super awesome doll houses and made this super duper awesome fort that me and my cousins used to sleep in when I was able to sleep over. PLUS Uncle Eldon is a magician, he was awesome! ..sigh good memories.

I got a wedding announcement from my best friend from High School. She's getting married for the first time this Friday and I can't even begin to tell you how happy I am for her. Like TOTALLY happy for her! She's so beautiful, smart, totally awesome and I hope he deserves her, that's all I've got to say. So of course, getting her announcement reminded me how much I wanted to be apart of her family too. Don't get me wrong, I love my family, I love my parents but a girl can dream right???? I loved being with her, helping...or actually watching her do her chores and doing farm-y time of stuff, riding in the cat in the hat which is what they called there truck. Taking late night walks around town talking about boys and coming up with clever nicknames to disguise there real names. If you read this Ann, I love ya and Congratulations!!!!

My laptop is going through a very noisy, disturbing death so I got a new computer that I still need to transfer stuff too. I sure wish my hubby would do that for me...hint hint...yeah I'm talking to you LM!

LM found out that his contract isn't going to be renewed because of budget cuts so he is looking for work again. ....cry I know everything will work out but....UGH He put his resume into a place that is close to here so we're crossing our fingers and toes that he get's it. Better money, better commute and hopefully insurance.

We had a good 4th of July, I wasn't feeling well so we didn't do much but light fireworks with our friends Jay and Carrie and honestly that was enough for the kids. They've spent ALL year telling me "Mom, the 4th of July is my second favorite holiday." "I sure hope we do fireworks this year" "We better do fireworks this year, because we didnt' do them last year!" (it was a very real threat that I took very serious)

We kept it legal, though I doubt we would have been turned in or anything considering that a block away the "Washington" fire works were going off and the police officer that was driving around didn't stop them from going off...2 days in a row....even though he kept driving by...2 days in a row.

Now, I wouldn't want any of the Morgans to get jealous, so you may want to skip the pictures just in case.
Sparklers! A necessity!
Bub wouldn't go near the sparklers...which is so hard to believe considering all the dangerous stuff he does on a daily basis...I guess I should be lucky that there is something he's afraid of.
Our Grand Finale
Just kidding this was our Grand Finale that was our pre Grand Finale...got to love those legal fireworks...there's a reason that there legal.
Hyrum hiding from the scary fireworks. He was ok with them until they got too loud then he spent his time hiding on the porch or behind me.

We love the 4th of July so much we celebrated the 5th of July but in a much funner way. We had a big bbq at Jay and Carries with our friends the Z's, S's and the C's (I didn't get permission to use there names). It was tons of fun, the kids had fun playing with there friends, it was great to hang out with friends, eat good food, and set off awesome fireworks thanks to the Z's!
We live for danger so we let the kids set off some of the fireworks and thankfully nobody got hurt. But sadly I was too busy enjoying them to get any pictures.
More sparklers.
Bub spent his time here or hiding behind me. I tried to get him to sit on my lap but I think he didn't feel safe enough to sit in front of me.

Besides that...nothins been happening.