I realized lately that I've been posting alot of the negative stuff that is happening and I may seem a little bitter, angry, frustrated, annoyed, and self pitying. I just want you to know that my bad attitude isn't the only "tude" I've had lately.
I'm finding every day that something has broken or needs replacing or blah blah blah. So everyday I say the same thing to myself. For example, when my video card died:
F*** You universe.
::stomps away from computer::
::says other colorful things::
::sits down, takes a deep breath and realizes: this is just stuff::
::calms down and gets on with my day::
I mean, I have to admit it is nuts how much stuff is breaking around here and not just little things, I mean B I G ticket items, and it's happening at a time when we have negative money, which normally sends me into a spiral of depression. It's not pretty. BUT, lately, after I have my tantrum, I get a weird sense of peace. I can't even explain it but it just feels like everything that his happening is going to get me to a place I need to be physically, mentally and spiritually. Crazy right?!?! But whatever is going on, it's working. I'm finally seeing things for what they are. As much as I love my puter, and having a nice tv, they are both distractions from what I really want to accomplish right now. I've gained a new appreciation for my family, my home, my friends, my body, my health. I am truly truly grateful and not in a cheesy way but in a deep down to the bone sort of way.
So, if you see me post negative stuff just realize that once I'm done flipping off the universe, I'll be settling back to feeling peace.