Sunday, February 21, 2010

The sun is out

so that should explain why I haven't updated in a while. We've had a whole week of sun. Can you believe it??? Me either. I'm so happy I could cry. I knew the sun made me happy but I forgot how much. I've been spending my days sitting in my van reading. Though it's sunny, and mostly warmer it's still too cold to just sit in, so I sit in my van where it's warm and I still get the full effect of the sunshine. I'm so happy. It has brought me hope, that good weather is just around the corner even though it's going back to our regularly scheduled rain and overcast sky on Monday.

Anyway, Jackson is still in school and it's going ok. We're concentrating on drawing closer as a family and teaching him how to deal with mean people. Parenting sucks but it's so worth it to just have my kids.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

good news

Dad is heading home from the hospital today so YAY! Thanks to everyone for your prayers and positive thoughts. I love ya guys.

Prayers and Positive Thoughts

Hey guys,

Dad's in the hospital due to chest pains. They ran some tests yesterday and so far so good but they are going to be running more tests today looking for damage and disease to his heart or arteries. He sure could use some prayers and positive thoughts right now.

I'll keep you updated.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Jackson




My bff is out of town right now and usually I vent and talk things through with her but since she's on a much needed vacay I'm gonna do it here.

Jackson came to me during Christmas break and asked me to homeschool him again. He said that he's being teased, he's not happy with school and would really like to come back home. I told him to try to work things out and see what happens when he goes back to school. Last night, he came to me right before bed with tears and said that he would really like to be homeschooled again. Guys, I don't know what to do.

LM and I, had a nice long discussion about it last night and I still feel mixed. Do I bring him home and have him miss some of the stuff he gets from being at school or do I leave him there and teach him to stick with it. I know for some this would be an easy answer but I don't think it is. I had to ask myself this question. Would I, as an adult, keep going to a place that made me feel bad about myself daily? Is it better to allow his self esteem to be tested to make him "stronger"? The fact is, he will never be like everybody else and honestly, I'm glad he's not. He has Aspergers, and though he can learn a lot of behaviors and he's really good at mimicking, he's still different. When I pick him up from school, I see him walking by himself, talking to himself. I see the way that kids look at him. Most of the time he's oblivious but sometimes they make sure that he's aware of how different he is. I also understand why some kids would be annoyed by him because he is bossy, doesn't understand personal space, he's not aware of how the things he says and does effects other people, and he takes a long time to verbally get his ideas out. He also goes to school without complaining because those are the rules and he's a rule abider and that's what he's suppose to do, so for him to be upset enough to remember to tell me that he's not happy is a big deal.

If I did bring him home, he still would go to the school for speech therapy and his skills class so he would still get that support. But would it be better to keep his self esteem beefed up by us and keep him in school?

He's my baby and I wish that I could make all the right decisions with him so that he grows up happy and healthy, so if anyone has a child manual that I could borrow I would super duper appreciate it.

UGH

I guess I'm not really looking for answers from you guys I just need a sounding board....sigh....I miss Carrie. (but don't feel bad Carrie if you read this, I'm super duper glad your getting a well deserved break!!! Don't call me! Seriously!)

Thursday, February 4, 2010

What I did on my computer free vacation

aka what I did so my friends and family wouldn't put me on ignore. Besides getting a finger cramp from only using my iphone to type, pondering the meaning of life and what the heck a vidoe card is and if it's really THAT important and debating about which is more important: food or video card....duh...video card. Eating is so over rated plus we have enough to keep up with my diet pepsi habit so we're good....no worries.

I cleaned my closets people...all of them. ooooh yeah, they are gleaming, so gleaming that I can't take a picture of them because they are so sparkling clean and organized that it'll break my camera. Plus, I wouldn't want you to get all depressed and feel bad or guilty that yours don't look as great as mine.

From all my closet cleaning and drawer cleaning, I had 6 bags of clothes for good will, plus another bag of toys. Hallelujah! Can I get an amen?

I removed all evidence of children from our bedroom. It is now so bare and spacious .... and....and...AWESOME(said all singsongy)

I rearranged furniture in the kids rooms and made a nice safe place for Rhino and hope to make it less likely for him to escape...again.

I cleaned my heart out then dreamed what it would be like to have a clean house longer than it takes Hyrum to take a short nap. Someday people...someday I will have a clean home for a full day....someday....

I read and read and sadly didn't get through a single book besides The Potato book again. It's ruined me, I have 4 books that I'm part way through but it's so hard to finish when I can't connect to it like Potato Book. I'm putting all my hopes and dreams into the next book club book, that I'll once again find love in the pages of a book. (p.s. I'm taking opinions and idea of other books if you'd like to leave a few titles in my comments section...no pressure.)

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, I've been working on this baby. It's about freaking time I know. Still not done, but I think I'll just take my time since I've got the important part done.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Squirrels are so cute

When they are dead, hanging on by their teeth on a power line right in front of our house.
If you enlarge the picture you can see it smoking.


Here's it's burned off tail.

I think I'm officially a hick because I find this humorous.

So does some of our volunteer fire department. When LM asked if they needed anything, they said "Only a knife and a fork."... I think I love this town.