Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Do you ever...

get the feeling that time is going by faster than your brain???  It's December...DECEMBER!  What the heck!  I'm now 5 days into December and have not bought a single present.  I think this is the first time that's happened since I've had kids.  I'm so not prepared....  Oh well (my new motto).  You are welcome to borrow it.  Though I use it often, I'm willing to share. 

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

My sarcasm vs. emotional self.

So...I'm posting another emotional post.  I don't like it any more than you do but there are things I just want to get out and hopefully it'll be out of my system after this. ::crosses fingers::

Today the house is being auctioned.  I'm actually pretty numb about it, I hope someone buys it so it gets taken care of but I'm not even a little sad about it.  Early on, when I knew that we were going to lose it, I cried alot but more for my ego than anything.  I worried about what our friends and neighbors would think, I was sad for the kids since this is the only home that they remember.  Bub was even born in this house.  I cried because I failed and not the private kind of fail but "everyone" would know that I failed.  Nothing like other people knowing things that feel so private but here I am today...I don't care.  I just don't care, in the end, it doesn't matter what my neighbor that I don't even like thinks.  It doesn't matter that we failed but that we are getting back up and creating a new future and fixing what we broke. I've never felt so hopeful. I look at my future and I feel relief that sooner than later we will have our financial mess cleaned up and that one day we will own our own home again.  I'm grateful for this house and the time we lived here but I wish the next family who lives here joy and happiness. 

Our new house is small...comparatively. We're going from 2800 sq ft to 1500 and to say that it feels intimate is an understatement but...I love it.  I love that I can stand in the kitchen and see where everyone is.  I love that we aren't all spread out, I love that Bub can't drag his toys to 3 levels of a house, I love that I have one less bathroom to clean, I love that I've had an excuse to get rid of stuff that we've held onto for the "just in case."  No more just in case, we don't have the room and I love it.  No more energy wasted on things that we don't love or use.  I love it.  I feel so free.  I'm positive I'm going to have moments where our intimate house is going to make me crazy but right now...I love it! 

I'm glad that all of this is almost over.  I'm thankful that I have the best sister in the universe that gives me the words I needed to hear at the moment where I felt the most hopeless and helpless.  Thank you sissypants.

Ok...end of emotional crap.  I hope to be back to my sarcastic self soon.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

That's right! 5!!!!!

1.  Mind Reader series by Lori Brighton and it's not just because I emailed her and she emailed me back and I'm still nerding out about it.  The first book is The Mind Readers, the second is The Mind Thieves and the third which is coming out around the 17th is The Mind Games.  It should be safe to start reading now.  You won't have to go through the physical pain of waiting for the last book to come out...serious...physical pain.  The 2nd book ends in a freakin cliff hanger, you'll be like "What the ...BEEP!".  So good.

2.  MIKA.  I can't help myself.  He's adorabibble and his music cheers me up.

Once I get up I feel better
And I pull myself together
I remember those two letters
It will be OK

 3. A weekend with no kids.  It is AWESOME!!!!

4. Seeing my kids after a long weekend away.  It is AWESOME!!!!

5. Life.  The past 6 or so months...what am I's probably closer to a year,  I've been so up and so down emotionally that I hardly know what to say.  I've cried...a lot, gotten angry and frustrated, asked "why?",felt lots and lots of regret but in the end... I love my life. Out of all the ugly has come new hopes and dreams, a new appreciation for everything I have and am.  I love my family, I love that I KNOW what's truly important, I love knowing that a house doesn't make a home, I love that I can easily separate what I want from what I need, I love music, I love books, I love seeing my kids grow up, I love seeing Larry's smile after he's been on his motorcycle, I love my friends, I love love love my life.  There are so many things right now that just plain suck but I realize that none of it will last forever, that eventually the dust will settle and what will be left are the things that I love.

Thursday, September 6, 2012


I'm in such a funky funk that I don't know what the funk to do about it.  Funks suck.  I don't know if it's the no job funk, or we're losing our house funk or the I can't find a stupid rental in our town so the kids might have to go to a different school funk, or the I don't know where we're going to live next month funk or the kids have gone back to school and now I'm hearing complaining about homework funk, or the I'm so sick of going through our crap that now I just want to throw it all out and start fresh funk.  So many funks, can't decide which one is the funkiest.  Though things funk, I don't want you to get the idea that I'm a funker. I'm grateful for so many things and 80ish % of the time I have a positive attitude about all of it, I feel hopefully with so many good things in my life, it's just the funky stuff is really loud in my head right now. Just having a funk moment.

And just because I heart them...
this is the song that was in my head when I woke up. 

Friday, August 10, 2012


1. Read Slammed and LOOOOOOVED it!  LOVED!  I've read it again since I read it last week and every once in a while I'll read certain parts again.  I love when I'm so into a book that I have to stop and process during reading it or I can't get it out of my head afterwards.  That's how I felt about this book.  At the beginning of each chapter are a quotes from music from The Avett Brothers. Which leads to my 2nd favorite.

2. Avett Brothers.  Never heard of them till I read this book and now I'm like "Where in the halibut have I been???".  Their music is such a mix of different things which makes me love it even more but the freaking good....I mean FREAKIN good.  Plus they use banjos=hellaawesome. They move me. Never been so glad for youtube till this past week.

3. Youtube and not just because of music videos or baby laughing videos but because Bub is learning so much...sometimes not in things that I want him too but he's super into space, planets...all that stuff and now he tells me the planets, the name of their moons and factual tidbits...the only bad side is that now he says things like "there is life on other planets, RIGHT?!" Like I'm their to agree with the ufo videos that he also watches.  I probably should be worried but it's very entertaining, don't worry, youtube isn't his only influence, his best friend is a Hispanic catholic which helps him feel guilty.

4. The Legend of Kora.  We loved Avatar, the last Airbender.  The kids use to play benders, Jackson was Water, Sara was Fire (duh), Emily was Earth and Bub was Air (double duh), he's scared of everything else.  Anyway, the new Airbender is awesome. 

5. Vegan chocolate coconut macaroons....which is why they're all gone now. 

Friday, August 3, 2012

What I imagine

When I think of myself dancing...I imagine I look something similar to this ...I don't actually dare watch myself know just in case it's too awesome.  I wouldn't want anyone to feel bad from my epic-ness. Plus this song is super cool.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Brand Spankin New Favorite 5 list

1. New Girl. Oh my, I laugh so hard every episode. So many quirky people in one makes me so happy. Jess reminds me of my BFF in High School, weird, quirky and awesome. I especially enjoy how Jess sings what she's doing...which I'm doing right now. If only this could be a vlog.... I think Schmidt is my favorite, he's crazy but in a good way and I'm now pretty sure I need driving moccasins and will forever think of iphones as "A slippery germ brick".

2. If you're on Facebook the you know that I heart This song:

I'm addicted, it was almost like that time when I couldn't stop listening to this song:

3. Georgette Heyer. Thank you Uncle Markie for introducing me to her. I started with Grand Sophy and just finished reading Frederica and now have all her books on my wish list. Her books are filled with wit, memorable characters no matter how minor they are . LOVE LOVE LOVE

4. SUMMER TIME!!!  It never gets old and the end is coming faster than I like.

5. Being warm...thank you summer heat.

Saturday, July 14, 2012

4th of July

We weren't planning on doing much but setting fireworks with the kiddos since we're total homebodies that rarely get out but gradually during the day we grabbed more guests to come over for food and a fantastic legal firework show.Woohoo So I might be exaggerating a bit about the show but the kids love it even though the "big" fireworks don't actually leave the ground. 

This year we had  Jackson and Sara's besties who happen to be siblings.  T and O and their mama Dawnmaire, our friend and neighbor Jay with his dog Amelia Airhead.  It was fun and made me think that maybe I should step out of my comfort zone a little more often and invite people over...then I remembered that I don't like doing that very often even if I did just have fun. 


I hope everyone had a fun and safe 4th of July!  God Bless America!


Wednesday, July 11, 2012

For Realsies, a new favorite 5. You're welcome.

My favorite 5 most used sarcastic comments.

1. I can't wait to move.

2. I <3 packing... a house that we've lived in for 12 years where we obviously never got rid of enough stuff during our yearly spring cleaning.

3. Of course you don't have to eat dinner after I spent 2 hours fixing it for you.

4. I love cleaning up after you  It's my favorite.

5. No,  I'm not going to spend ALL day reading trashy novels in bed...I do have to go pick up a diet pepsi, pee and eat at some point in my day.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Lincoln City

A little over a week ago, I decided that we all needed a break from our life even if it was for a few days.  It's been around 7 years since we've had a family vacation...even a mini vacation and we were way over due.  So we headed to Lincoln City for a few days.  Now normally, I'm not a huge fan of the Oregon Coast because it's usually rainy, over cast and all things I don't care for.  But the sky gods were kind and gave me exactly what I needed.  It was a great few days and worth every penny.  We stayed in a great house just a block away from the beach, it was comfy, beautiful and had  a hot tub.  The day we got there, the sun was shining (though you can't tell, that's just the normal NW sky look), hardly any wind and so clear that you could see forever.  I don't remember ever being there and having the sun shine. 

Day 2 the day started rainy but cleared by late afternoon so after a day of lounging, reading, watching movies we headed back to the beach.  It was coooooooold but that did not stop the kids from going back in, at first they thought they would just play in the sand but one by one they went back to the house to change into swimsuits...crazies.  My feet got wet, that was about it.  I'm not into cold water beaches but did enjoy the scenery, fresh air and watching the kids freeze their bunzies off.

Half the weekend, I was on the verge of tears from happiness.  I can't even begin to explain how I was feeling.  I'm so thankful for my family and the break from reality.  Not once did I worry about what is going to happen in the next few months, money, work...nothing.  I enjoyed it and felt content for the first time in a very long time. Can't wait till next time.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Uncle Brent

My Uncle Brent passed away this week, my parents warned us that is was getting closer.  Then my cousin Michelle posted that he had passed.

Words can not describe how sad I am for his family, our family and for all the people who got to know him.  He is an amazing man who changed a lot of lives including mine. He was my Uncle Brent that lived 2 lives, before his strokes and after his strokes.  I barely remember pre-stroke Brent.  He was tall, confident and had a big Cooper smile.  Post stroke Brent had a body that no longer looked confident, it didn't work right, his vocabulary was very small, and had a big Cooper smile, it's also the Brent that I love and am thankful for.

As a young teen I had an experience with him that I call a Heavenly moment.  It's those moments, or those people you meet or an experience that you have where you feel the true Love of our Heavenly Father.  I was a self loathing angsty teen at the time, when he innocently said something to me. I shushed him away in my awkwardness when he grabbed my hand, looked me in the eye and repeated what he said then he gave me the most beautiful hug and that's when it happened.  I broke down and opened myself up to the warmth of his love and the meaning of his words.  It changed my life and it's the memory that keeps coming to mind when I think of him.  I won't say what he said, the words would take away from the feeling I had but I know that I am not the only one who had these moments with him. 

I love you Uncle Brent. 

Monday, June 11, 2012

Chaperoning is F-U-N

In April I finally had a chance to go on field trips with the kids. LOVE it!

I went with Emily's class to Oregon Museum of Science and Industry. It was awesome!  The girls were cute and fun and easy-peasy.

Chaperoning girls at OMSI

No comfy way to wear these with glasses...just sayin'
Making goop...glad it's not my kitchen.

Then I went to the Zoo with Bub's class. It was so fun a lot less easy-peasy but entertaining to say the least.  These guys were heeeeelarious.
Chaperoning boys at the Zoo!
They ARE as entertaining as they look.
good times...good times.

It sure beat the time that I chaperoned Saras class at Western Oregon Waste ...seriously.  Not as bad as it sounds but it wasn't the Zoo or OMSI

Sunday, June 10, 2012

You've got to be kidding me!

It's only the second day of summer break and I heard  "I'm bored" I have a clean main bathroom and I'm pretty sure that Sara will not find herself bored again because I have plenty of cleaning to do...enough to make anyone un bored.

Friday, June 8, 2012

Another quick ...ok not so quick catch up

I know stuff has happened but it feels like nothing ever happens....but some how I stay busy so I don't know how that works.

Got new glasses. They are so cute...if I say so myself. I should take more pictures of myself...I'm surprised I don't since I look so cute in them...Ok, maybe not so much in this picture but trust me, I look super cute in them.  I don't want to name names but a "friend" of mine is going to need bifocals in the near future...when did I get older? And why does the print have to look so blurry when I read with my glasses on? 

Um I'm pretty sure stuff happened but nothing note worthy.

Bub turned 7!!! I still see him as this crazy 3 year he's a crazy 7 year old with friends (that aren't dogs). He's growing up and getting funnier.

Larry got into a motorcycle accident. He's still in pain, he fractured his leg and hurt his right shoulder, but it hasn't stopped him from getting back on his bike.

Sara turned 12! So close to having 2 teenagers. I can't believe I'm old enough to have a teen and tween...I mean ::nervous laugh:: I'm not old enough to have almost 2 teenagers.

I had been working as a nanny on call for 1 family, which I love. Then at the beginning of March, I was hired to work part time for another family, with a brand new baby so I pretty much get paid to read and hold a sweet newborn for 10 hours a day. I feel like I'm finally catching up with my  book reading. Woohoo! And isn't if funny how like reading one books motivates you to read another and another?? LOOOOVE IT!

HUNGER GAMES!!! Can I get an Amen? I was seriously sick to my stomach days before because I was so afraid that it was going to be awful! Jackson, Sara and I (and a whole theater of teenagers) agree that it was awesome!

Nikita Banana turned 8!
She doesn't look a day over 5 years.

Larry turned 42. No pictures to show...but we did have fun when we went to dinner and happened upon one of  his sisters, brother in law and our nephew. It ended up being a great evening talking and reconnecting.

Easter with the Z's of course. The kids had fun even though it's hard to tell by the look on Bub's face. Have I mentioned Beth's carrot souffle??  it's now an Easter staple...thank heaven!

Jackson shaved for the first time. I'm sooooooooooo not old enough for this.


I bought myself a Nook for an early birthday present and I wish I did it earlier. LOOOOOOOVE it!!!  I really rebelled against it..I love books, I love holding books, smelling new books, turning pages, seeing how far I've read and how much farther I have to read...the whole thing. But in our attempt to reduce our stuff, I realized that all our bookshelves of books isn't helping our cause and I knew that it would just get larger since we already don't have enough shelf space for our books...and even though I'm really scared that when the Zombie Apocalypse happens,we won't have power to recharge our electronic readers,  I made myself shove the (completely rational) fear aside, was brave and just did it.  I'm so glad I did... only downside, my kids keep bugging me to borrow it.  I guess I know what everyone is getting for Christmas...

Larry and I celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary.  I can't believe it either...

Jackson turned 15!!!!!  GAH!!!  When did he get so old????  Sadly, all the other kids were sick so it was a quiet birthday but he didn't complain...he rarely does...that's why he's my favorite oldest child.

I turned 38.  That's right, I'm putting my real age.  I was actually feeling really good about getting older, thinking about how much smarter I am, how happy I am that the kids are older and much more interesting...then a few days later while I was at work, one of the cleaners asked me if I was the grandmother of the little baby I nanny....Grandmother...that would mean that I look old enough to be a mother of the couple that I work for who are around my age...or at least old enough to be a doctor with a successful practice....I'm rethinking this positive attitude about age...

Aaaaaaaaand we're caught up.