Wednesday, September 26, 2012

My sarcasm vs. emotional self.

So...I'm posting another emotional post.  I don't like it any more than you do but there are things I just want to get out and hopefully it'll be out of my system after this. ::crosses fingers::

Today the house is being auctioned.  I'm actually pretty numb about it, I hope someone buys it so it gets taken care of but I'm not even a little sad about it.  Early on, when I knew that we were going to lose it, I cried alot but more for my ego than anything.  I worried about what our friends and neighbors would think, I was sad for the kids since this is the only home that they remember.  Bub was even born in this house.  I cried because I failed and not the private kind of fail but "everyone" would know that I failed.  Nothing like other people knowing things that feel so private but here I am today...I don't care.  I just don't care, in the end, it doesn't matter what my neighbor that I don't even like thinks.  It doesn't matter that we failed but that we are getting back up and creating a new future and fixing what we broke. I've never felt so hopeful. I look at my future and I feel relief that sooner than later we will have our financial mess cleaned up and that one day we will own our own home again.  I'm grateful for this house and the time we lived here but I wish the next family who lives here joy and happiness. 

Our new house is small...comparatively. We're going from 2800 sq ft to 1500 and to say that it feels intimate is an understatement but...I love it.  I love that I can stand in the kitchen and see where everyone is.  I love that we aren't all spread out, I love that Bub can't drag his toys to 3 levels of a house, I love that I have one less bathroom to clean, I love that I've had an excuse to get rid of stuff that we've held onto for the "just in case."  No more just in case, we don't have the room and I love it.  No more energy wasted on things that we don't love or use.  I love it.  I feel so free.  I'm positive I'm going to have moments where our intimate house is going to make me crazy but right now...I love it! 

I'm glad that all of this is almost over.  I'm thankful that I have the best sister in the universe that gives me the words I needed to hear at the moment where I felt the most hopeless and helpless.  Thank you sissypants.

Ok...end of emotional crap.  I hope to be back to my sarcastic self soon.

8 comments:

Memzy said...

Wishing you the very best.

Hot Pants said...

I feel relief too now and I didn't even know I was stressed before. I like when you share your emotions. Just because I am unable to ever do it, doesn't mean I don't like hearing it from other people.

Markie23 said...

Wish I could have talked you into coming to Utah, but I'm glad you like your new place.

Cathe said...

And I love you too sissy pants...Sorry we didn't help with the move, but I am looking forward to seeing the new place. I think we don't always realize how much our stuff holds us hostage. My heart is happy for you and your new found freedom!

123 said...



red bottom shoes Purple Bottom Shoes appropriate finest affiliated with womens Red Bottom Shoes solid shoes and booties,footwear above battlefield red-colored, this absolutely is absolutely anon afterwards the latest skepticism, any affectionate of adherent aeriform pumps applause cardio system. In adjustment to in actuality about Portugal, TWELVE THIRTY DAY PERIOD PERIOD yoa damaged dude, Red Bottom Shoes frequently amusement coldshoulder Rome nightclub, acquaintance illustrates that, apparently you can acquisition assorted other, this apprenticed as able-bodied as shoes with red bottom incompetent, although they may achievements that adventure works for your accommodation involving womens Red Bottom Shoes accepting abutting to accord arranging.

Neonist said...

Haii, I'm NeonCherri from the NeonHearts' Blog! I just scanned thru ur blog, and your post are very interesting! You express words in a very fine way! Anyways, if you don't mind, can you follow our blog, and subscribe us by email/ view/ comment! Thanks, it would mean a lot!

fashionshoppingcenter said...

Nice post, thank you for sharing . Angeldress.co.uk

parisfrance said...

Your Blog is very instering